Assertiveness Many people believe the word "assertive" is a synonym for "aggressive" and that is not the case. Assertiveness also has been misunderstood to mean something like pushiness, or even bullying. The actual meaning of assertiveness relates to a person taking into account one's own personal rights and the rights of others. "Appropriate assertiveness" is an important skill, according to the book Understanding Human Behavior and the Social Environment (Zastrow, et al., 2009). Assertive communication can involve verbal and nonverbal behavior, and it allows the speaker to make points "…clearly and straightforwardly"; as an assertive person, you have the right to "stand up for yourself without unwarranted anxiety"; you have the right to express ideas and opinions "openly and honestly"; you also have the right "to be wrong," and to "not be liked by everyone" (Zastrow, p. 312).

Reflective Account on Being Assertive

My midwife / nursing position in the clinic puts me in many situations where I have to decide if I want to speak up about something I see or hear, or should I just stay quiet, say nothing, and let whatever it was pass without comment. I suspect every professional nurse and many others in professions where you are engaged with the public have faced the same issue that I face. The question becomes -- when is it appropriate to assertively intervene in a situation, and when is it better to just let the situation alone because my intervention won't matter or won't solve anything? There is no perfect answer, of course, because every situation is different,...

But there is a young RN who works four days a week and while she is very professional in all other ways, she brings an iPod to work and she plugs in her tiny earphones so she can hear whatever music it is that she enjoys.
The first couple times she (I'll call her Nora) worked the same shift as I did -- albeit she was often in a different room, one of the semi-private rooms for mothers after giving birth -- she came in and out of the areas where I worked and I was frankly stunned that she was allowed to listen to music while attending to her nursing duties. It made me wonder what else was going on with Nora in the absence of the head nurse for that women's department -- a head nurse that was on a 2-month sabbatical.

Finally I had reached the point where I needed to be assertive and to intervene. It was a Wednesday night, not particularly busy with only three pregnant women in the clinic receiving services from our staff. Nora had her tiny earphones in her ears and the iPod was in her nurse's smock pocket. This time Nora was actually washing her hands and boogieing back and forth to a particular tune that she clearly was moved by. As she was rocking back and forth in my room, her whole body in motion for a few seconds,…